A spokesperson for Eurovision has confirmed that the United Kingdom will be forced to compete in the WTO Song Contest for 2020.

According to the organisers, it is highly unlikely that a full Brexit trade deal will be in place by the time that the tournament is due to take place.

One source said, ‘There are only few differences between the two contests.’

‘First of all, each song can only be thirty seconds long, with countries being heavily penalised for every five seconds that it overruns.’

‘Also, absolutely no key changes are allowed. Or costumes. Or tall girls wearing flesh-coloured clothing that makes it look like they are in the nuddy. Or instruments.’

‘Above all else, all entries must only use the notes A and G.’

The UK will have their work truly cut out if they are to topple this year’s hot favourite, a tune from Vanuatu called Bislama Karma Karma Karma Karma Chameleon.