In the latest controversy surrounding the Video Assisted Referee, the system has ruled that England are shit on the basis that they struggled to pick up three points against a country whose chief economic activity is flogging hooky Locuste sportswear to British tourists on some beach somewhere.
The ruling came during a late incident when England demanded a penalty, and the official VAR response was, ‘Have a day off Gareth. You’re all just incredibly shit.’
Shortly after Kane’s winner, the computerised system added, ‘Ha ha he’s definitelt going to Madrid in the Summer now. Nice new ground Spuds without your star man. Lols.’
FIFA have confirmed that the technology will be replaced by Johnny 5 during the next World Cup in Qatar.