A 34-year-old woman from Essex has abandoned her costly and extensive fertility treatment after she noticed her name in a list of girls who will definitely get pregnant in 2018 on Facebook.

Michelle Garridge has been trying for a baby with her partner Jett for five years now, and while waiting for her latest consultation this morning she was scrolling through Facebook and noticed that the name ‘Michelle’ was within the scientifically-backed list that had been posted on Essex Mums and Mummery.

She said, ‘What’s the point in all the IVF and drugs? Look! There’s my name! Right there! ‘Louise’ is there as well, so that’s everyone born in the 1980’s taken care of too.’

We asked Michelle if she was concerned that the whole idea of ‘Pregnancy Lists’ was just a load of old bollocks dreamt up by the clinically braindead as a distraction from Love Island for five seconds.

She replied, ‘No I have absolute faith in this.’

‘What sort of heartless arsehole would post something fake on Facebook, knowing full well that there are thousands of couples out there who are currently going through the heartbreak of not being able having children.’

We spoke to Dr Robert Winston about the plethora of ‘Pregnancy Lists’ that are currently all over Mummy Wummy groups.

He said, ‘To be fair, what the hell do guys like us know with all the medical experience and shit? Look at this example here – the poster sells Younique. I bow to her unbelievable level of intellect and clinical prowess in the field.’