A spokesperson for the Palace of Westminster has confirmed that work to rotate the main clock face of Big Ben so that it faces Mecca is ‘progressing nicely,’ with the current scaffolding due to be removed by late 2019.

According to the Department of Culture and Societal Enrichment, the current faces are directed towards Southend-on-Sea, Brighton, Bristol and Birmingham, and the £500m taxpayer-funded initiative will ensure that at least one face remains 118.98° from true North – the correct co-ordinates to ensure an uninterrupted line with the holy site in Saudi Arabia.

DCSE Minister Edward Frenulum said, ‘The newly-oriented Big Ben will reflect the true values of British society.’

‘As an added bonus, another face will be directly aimed at Brussels to ensure that we have an everlasting tribute to the United Kingdom’s membership of the European Union.’

‘We are also carrying out a number of foundation reinforcements to ensure that the rest of the Houses of Parliament remain intact as a result of the tower move.’

‘Over the course of the next ten to fifteen years, a number of other projects are planned to make London the welcoming tourist location that it aspires to be.’

‘For instance, we are renaming the borough of Wapping because we now recognise that the name causes a great deal of offence to the Italian community in London.’

‘As an additional measure, a schools competition is underway to find a new name for the Jubilee Line on the London Underground that doesn’t contain a religious word within it.’