Regular followers of Southend News Network may have noticed in the last few weeks that we have covered some of the media coverage of the ‘fake news witch hunt,’ but we have to admit that none of the soundbites have been quite as strange as today’s little gem from Pope Francis.

For some reason that perhaps only ol’ Popey McPopeface will be able to explain, he has compared enjoying fake news to coprophilia – this is basically the activity of taking an unhealthy sexual interest in anything involving faeces.

You can read all about it in The Guardian, if you must.

He even mentioned that these people who enjoy reading such things behave like coprophagics. Wwe would describe that term but we don’t want to piss the gods of the Internet off any more than absolutely necessary.

Basically, think of a top-shelf German DVD called ‘Sheissessen’ and you’re pretty much there.

He then went on to blast the people who are spreading this fake news. Personally, we find it hard to take any sort of lecture from the head of the Catholic Church about ‘spreading’ anything really, seeing that the institution is well-known to have historically turned a blind eye to a number of its employees ‘spreading’ in other senses of the word.

We apologise if reading this article has given you any unwelcome mental images, but the Chief Reporter must have been pretty much excommunicated by now anyway. He’s not particularly worried anyway, unless his local synagogue has some sort of reciprocal agreement …